Smash in your mirror





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Friday, December 17, 2004

Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

She's lost inside, lost

Posted at 09:11 am by NooK
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Sunday, December 05, 2004
big fake smiles and stupid lies

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

I wanna be somebody else
I'm sick of feeling so left out
I'm desperate to find something more
Before my life is over
stuck inside a world I hate
sick of everyone around
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside I'm bleeding

simple plan

Posted at 05:23 pm by NooK
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Sunday, November 28, 2004

I'm lost in this lifetime. As far as I can see, theres nothing up ahead of me, and as far back as I can look, its all been potholes and red lights. I don't want to breakdown, but its looking that way. My soul just needs to rest, take a break, stand back and look and what its going to take to climb this mountain.  

Posted at 07:57 pm by NooK
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Thursday, November 18, 2004
beauty in the breakdown

We sit and pray in a circle in a small room, just big enough to hold us and all our glory. I could walk up to any of them and know that they would be there for me. I know that i could go up to anyone of them and they would listen, they would care, and they would help me to be strong. Yet in all this glory, all this love, all this great comotion I feel lost. I feel alone and isolated. Like the eye of a storm I stand and watch them move in all their grace around me. I watch the blur of their song and praise, smiles and love move around me and I pray. I pray that one day I can let all this go. That this thing that isolates me from them may be lifted. And as these horrible thoughts that run through my head, I think that my bolder is not as heavy as their bolder, and that if they can be caught in this world of magnificence I can too. but I can't seem to move, I can't seem to let it go, I can't seem to drop it. My body has gone numb, my feelings no longer feel, and my emotions have been hardend, this rock is breaking me down, but the blur of smiles, and hugs, and love that circle around me in this wurlwind reminds me that there is beauty in the breakdown and as I stand here and drown under this bolder I know I will resurface again.

Posted at 08:22 am by NooK
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Wednesday, November 03, 2004
StaNdinG StrOnG

Fall to the ground

Lost, not found

look up at the sky

silently ask why

close my eyes
away I try to fly
and as I lay
I begin to pray
about you and me
and what they can't see
for the power
at that hour
when it all comes down
without sound
to stand strong
and sing your song
without fear
and hold you near
to not look back
to never crack
and not to waver
because you are my savor

Posted at 04:40 pm by NooK
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Wednesday, October 27, 2004

I can't speak my mind
tell you my feelings
show emotion
let anyone in
or anything out
I crack under pressure
and bend under pain
I can't lie
stand up for myself
or for others
ask questions
or find answers
look someone in the eye
I can't forget
your words
I can't spend a day
without thinking
I can't
give up
hold my own
accept what is given
or what I give
I can't
fix whats not broken
or break the unbreakable
hold my head up high
or be happy
with what I've done
I can't ......

Posted at 04:57 pm by NooK
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Friday, October 22, 2004

There's something about the look in your eyes;
Something I noticed when the light was just right;
It reminded me twice that I was alive;
And it reminded me that your so worth the fight;

Thereís something about the way you move;
I see your mouth in slow motion when you sing;
Like suddenly something someone contrives;
Your movements echo that I have seen the real thing;

Posted at 11:32 am by NooK
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Monday, October 18, 2004
- > +

I look through the books in this quiet place. Tucked at a desk in the far corner, the only sound I hear is by breathing, in out in out and the turning of my pages. Some have pictures, some just words; doesn't matter all say the same thing. The inevetable the fate the unwanted ending. Medical terms, or plain english, all point one direction. I try to find something new, something else to learn, something diffrent in the same words that are repeated over and over. Tears fall down my check as I wipe them away. A weird look as I set my books upon the counter so I can take them home, maybe I'll find something diffrent there. If he only knew, if only he could imagin, or possibly understand. Im tired of this research. im full of knowledge I can't share.  I can only keep it within and pray that all those words, big and small are wrong. That all the knowledge I have racked my brain with is false. That all this is a dream, I'll wake up and everything will be fine. That my math is wrong,and that the numbers don't really add up... 

Posted at 01:15 pm by NooK
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Saturday, October 16, 2004
I wIsh...

I wish I could tell you. I wish I had the courage, I wish I had the strength; I wish for a thousand shooting stars and that all could be for you, I wish you would talk to me, and I wish I could be the pillar of faith you think I am; I wish you could take a chance with me, I wish you would take a leap of faith; I wish I could be blessed with your grace, I wish you would come and rescue me; I wish you were here; I wish you didn't see this shell; I wish you could look at me, I wish you could see, I wish you could see me

Posted at 02:00 pm by NooK
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Friday, October 15, 2004

Even though I know
I donít want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds
You know you can tell me anything you want to;

Tell me something that Iíd never know
Could be
cautious as the words roll over your tongue;
Iím stung with sick discover Tear me from these
complicated questions;
Taking all the empty spaces
inside me
But complicated answers never did you
any justice anyway;
Complicated as we are weíre
going have to burn it all away

Posted at 04:57 pm by NooK
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